Satire | Rihanna, No More Indian Shaadis For Your Needs. Stop Meddling!

“RiRi, may we recommend a masterclass in desi patriotism that traces all errors ever manufactured in India back once again to Nehru?”

(Disclaimer: that is a work of satire.)

Rihanna did the unthinkable. She had the temerity to provoke

‘shine just like a diamond’ ‘bharatiya ratna’, winner of three awards that are national Bollywood Queen — Kangana Ranaut. How dare the singer tweet her help for farmers’ protests!

RiRi had been built to be sorry instantly. Ms Ranaut shut her down just like the Web in Delhi NCR through the clashes that are police-farmer. Although not before providing Rihanna a collision program on democracy by trivialising peoples liberties issues and dismissing dissenting voices as ‘Chinese agents’.

Only Ms Ranaut has endowed on by by herself the honour of sitting for a horse that is high dismissing the agitating farmers as ‘terrorists’, dying to divide Asia like pizza pieces.

She extends to regulate how these are typically supposed to experience legislation that provide more agency to corporates than farmers. Most likely, agitating voices are simply ‘wild thoughts!’

Twitter Responds as Rihanna Tweets About Farmers Protest

Rihanna, You’re Asking The Incorrect Qs. Here’s What you should about be Tweeting

But Rihanna must not for a moment think she’s free to tweet about Asia from her high horse.

Considering that the lady continues to be at nighttime about do’s and don’ts, here’s a listing she should stay away from:

• The protestors whom passed away on Delhi boundaries.
• The town Asia has generated 4.5kms inside Indian territory.
• A comedian, Munawar Faruqui, that is languishing in prison for a tale he never cracked.
• Pinjra Tod activist, Natasha Narwal, who can continue steadily to stay in prison for communal violence she did not incite.
• And thus a number of other peoples liberties activists and social employees.

Here’s just exactly what Rihanna should tweet about. Why are Indians rushing down to Maldives and never Barbados for Instagrammable holiday photos? Why did Jahangir offer East Asia the license to trade in Asia? Melody itnee chocolatey kyon baani?

Yet this ‘not a Padma Shri awardee’ made a decision to shed crocodile rips for terrorists parked at Singhu edge like obsolete sarkari Ambassador automobiles and looking forward to Asia to colonise us.

Dekho Rihanna, it really is apparent that too quarantining that is much fogged up the human brain.

May we recommend ‘work work work’ or even a masterclass in desi patriotism that traces all errors produced in India’s history and geography to Nehru?

Or we’re able to prompt you to stay for Kamdhenu Gau-vigyan Prachar Prasar Pareeksha to see silver within the milk

desi cows squirt, while whispering nothings that are sweet their ear.

It really is pretty evident you are woefully unaware which our federal government may be the thing that is best to possess occurred to Bharat since Lord Rama.

Kangana Called Out for Calling Farmers ‘Terrorists’ & Rihanna Fool

Dear RiRi, Just What Have You Done? Now Also Mia Khalifa’s Standing With Your Farmers!

Rihanna, you have got currently done us damage that is much gotten the entire world to generally share one thing aside write my essay for me for free from Trump and Biden. Sidetracked Greta Thunberg from melting caps that are polar shrinking woodlands and seeking angrily at world leaders.

Now Kangana that is poor will compelled to offer a thumbs down seriously to Thunberg. Ask her to operate on her anger administration issue. View good old fashioned film like ‘Shakalaka Boom Boom’ with a pal and chill.

Dear RiRi, your time and efforts to destabilise India from your own mansion in London will force us to snatch your ‘umbrella ella ella, eh eh’ away from you. Forget about dancing at Indian weddings for your needs. Particularly the big ones that are fat Asia. You have ‘hit your toe with your own personal hammer’.

Although we carry on

efforts to discredit you, we humbly help you to please restore your meddling international hand and why don’t we criminalise protests, pummelled college pupils, incarcerate stand-up comics and upright reporters, in comfort.

You are receiving inside our method of letting lapdogs thrive.

Hai Ram, look what you’ve done! Now it is Mia Khalifa standing with your farmers!

Take a seat, you trick. Kangana will be at Mia’s doorstep to call her a ‘chudail’. With no Aadhaar card for you, Mia.

(an instructor not too sometime ago, Purba Ray took to composing on a whim after making her work. She’s got a viewpoint on almost every thing, fiction or fact, beginnings or ends, light or heavy, long or quick. She tweets at @Purba_Ray. This might be a personal web log and the views expressed would be the author’s own. The Quint neither endorses nor accounts for them.)

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